The Yuuei Dorm Laws
by Evilkitten3
Summary: The Heroics Department has moved into the Yuuei dorm rooms, and Principal Nedzu realizes that some rules should probably be put in place – for the teachers, the students, and anyone else who happens to get involved.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Well, I did it for Fairy Tail… might as well do it for BNHA! Rules fic~ I wasn't going to post this at all, honestly – this is a joke thing I did for myself a while ago, but with all the angst I've been posting lately… might as well do something funny. I don't know if I can pull off a chatfic, so here's this instead. Anyhow, lemme know if you want me to continue this or whatever. Kitty out.**

 **Title** : The Yuuei Dorm Laws

 **Summary** : The Heroics Department has moved into the Yuuei dorm rooms, and Principal Nedzu realizes that some rules should probably be put in place – for the teachers, the students, and anyone else who happens to get involved.

 **Warnings** : General nonsense, reason being abandoned for the sake of humor, and Kacchan's potty mouth

 **Pairings** : Everyone/everyone else (it's a list fic and I'm writing it – what the hell were you expecting?)

* * *

 **Aizawa Shouta** – As a teacher, you should endeavor to act as a role model for your students. Showing up to class with a sleeping bag and a hangover, saying "today we're learning about spontaneous silence – anyone who talks in the next four hours fails," and falling asleep is not acting as a role model.

 **All For One** – Stop persuading your guards to commit tiny acts of vandalism on school grounds. The government isn't going to let you go just because "the police force is corrupt".

 **Amajiki Tamaki** – Asui is not going to eat you. Frogs do not eat people (or octopi or even clams, to the best of my knowledge). Please come out of the basement.

 **Aoyama Yuuga** – Stop throwing glitter at people.

 **Ashido Mina** – I don't care what Kaminari said. Do not cover his bed sheets – or anyone else's – in acid _ever_ again.

 **Asui Tsuyu** – If you see a student with compact eyes and antennae, you are not to beginning following them and whispering "frog food" at random intervals. Please apologize to the seven students that have locked themselves in the basement and convince them to come out.

 **Awase Yousetsu** – "Killing two birds with one stone" is a figure of speech, not a challenge. Stop throwing rocks at Tokoyami.

 **Awata Kaoruko** – Enough with the "fucking bubbles" meme. We get it.

 **Bakugou Katsuki** – "Fuck the police" is not an excuse for setting off firecrackers in Iida's room, even if you _do_ think he was policing you. This applies even if he is dressed as a police officer.

 **Bakugou Mitsuki** – If your son asks you for a rather specific outfit, _get context_. If the words "dare", "evidence", or "Monoma Neito" are part of that context, please do not give your son that outfit. This applies even if "Monoma" is replaced with "that copy-cat bastard" or a similar insult.

 **Bakugou Masaru** – You cannot adopt your son's friend group, no matter how happy you are that said group exists.

 **Bondo Kojirou** – Cementoss is not trying to usurp you. That doesn't even make sense.

 **Bubaigawara Jin** – Stop asking the students to help you become Deadpool. You are not, and should not ever be, Deadpool.

 **Chatora Yawara** – You may not "forget" to apprehend a villain because the person she is attacking misgendered her. Arrest the villain and _then_ scold the civilians.

 **Dabi** – Todoroki does not need your help to be a deviant. He is doing just fine on his own. You are not "Super Fire Bros".

 **Desutegoro** – Stop trying to schedule all your meetings on "February 51st".

 **Ectoplasm** – Detentions cannot be assigned for an indefinite period of time, no matter how insulted you feel. Honenuki will not be in detention for "the rest of his goddamn life", and he was _probably_ not trying to offend you anyway.

 **Eri** – You were in a bad situation, and a negative reaction is understandable. That said, please stop threatening to castrate people with your horn. How do you even know that word; you're like _five_.

 **Fat Gum** – The fact that Satou and Yaoyorozu also have food-related Quirks does not mean you need to mentor them. Two students are enough.

 **Fourth Kind** – "Having a katana" and "having the right to threaten people with a katana" are not synonymous.

 **Fukidashi Manga** – Your Quirk does not give you the ability to "see beyond the fourth wall". Stop trying to convince people that we are all trapped within a shounen series. That is ridiculous.

 **Gran Torino** – "Kick 'em in the dick", while an effective battle strategy, is not appropriate advice to give to children.

 **Gunhead** – Stop trying to set Uraraka up with Midoriya. You're probably right, but they have bigger things to worry about.

 **Hadou Nejire** – Stop asking villains questions. You're supposed to be arresting them, not sharing good places to get shoes.

 **Hagakure Tooru** – Bakugou's inability to hear what you're saying is not going to stop him from punching you for talking about him behind his back. He'll find out, you'll get punched, and no one will feel sorry for you. If you absolutely must insult him, either learn sign language or get a translator and do it to his face.

 **Hakamata Tsunagu** – Not everyone is comfortable in denim. _Deal with it_.

 **Hatsume Mei** – "It seemed like a good idea at the time" is not only a terrible excuse in general, but also a completely invalid one that does not explain the giant robotic velociraptor currently patrolling the school grounds.

 **Hikiishi Kenji** – Killing people for misgendering you is illegal. Please find other ways to express your displeasure.

 **Honenuki Juuzou** – Do not challenge Ectoplasm to a "who can scare the most children with only their face" contest. I don't care that you think it's a compliment; you're hurting his feelings.

 **Iguchi Shuuichi** – Hoshigaki Kisame has not challenged you to a sword fight. Hoshigaki Kisame is not a real person; he is a fictional character, and you know this.

 **Iida Tensei** – Your little brother has a lot of respect for you. Stop abusing that respect by suggesting he do ridiculous things. He _will_.

 **Iida Tenya** – Please do not dress up as a police officer when inspecting your classmates' rooms. You are only asking for trouble. I don't care what your brother said.

 **Inui Ryou** – Do not tell students to mark their territory. The janitor would like you to know that anything that gets urinated on is your responsibility.

 **Ishiyama Ken** – If Bondo declares you his "eternal rival", you are to ignore him, not encourage his behavior. Insanity does not "build character".

 **Jirou Kyouka** – Do not start playing the One Punch Man theme song whenever Midoriya is about to punch something. This holds true for All Might too, as well as anyone else who tends to punch things in an over-dramatic manner.

 **Kaibara Sen** – Having a name similar to that of a fictional character does not make you that fictional character. Stop challenging people to Duel Monsters.

 **Kamakiri Togaru** – Collecting insects is a perfectly reasonable hobby. Using them to terrifying other students is not. Please apologize to Kouda so we can take the anteater back to the zoo and you can come down from the tree.

 **Kamihara Shinya** – Bakugou does not need to be followed 24/7. Surely the No. 5 hero has better things to do.

 **Kaminari Denki** – This school does not need an electric fence. You are not permitted to skip class in order to act as one.

 **Kan Sekijirou** – Please stop encouraging your students to try and one-up Eraserhead's class. This will not end well.

 **Kayama Nemuri** – Do not put smoke bombs in the teachers' lounge ever again. I can and _will_ start making you wear normal clothing if this behavior continues.

 **Kendou Itsuka** – You are not Lady Flyswatter, Queen of the Bitch-Smack. So stop bitch-smacking your classmates.

 **Kirishima Eijirou** – If someone asks you to pass the salt, they are asking you to hand them the white crystalline substance used for seasoning. They are not asking you to pick up and throw Bakugou at them. Please desist.

 **Kodai Yui** – Stop trying to scare Bakugou and Todoroki. I cannot promise you will continue to emerge unscathed.

 **Komori Kinoko** – You are not required to provide "magic mushrooms" to anyone who asks or doesn't ask. In fact, you are actively discouraged from doing so.

 **Kouda Kouji** – You are not allowed to "do favors" for animals in the zoo. I don't care how badly that polar bear claims to need a cup of coffee, he can't have one.

 **Kurogiri** – While I am personally unsure of the League of Villains' hierarchy, you seem to be the most mature. If there is anything to do to stop your cohorts from playing mildly annoying but otherwise harmless pranks, please do it.

 **Kuroiro Shihai** – "It's because I'm black, isn't it" jokes are not appropriate coming from a fully Japanese person; even if you are technically black in color, you do not have African heritage. Stop before you offend someone.

 **Lock Rock** – Tsunotori and Rin do not need you to adopt them, regardless of whatever Fat Gum told you. That said, if you have any pointers on avoiding xenophobia, I'm sure they'd be delighted to hear them.

 **Maijima Higari** – Tell Hatsume to get rid of that raptor. Or at least make her do something useful with it.

 **Midoriya Inko** – No, you cannot adopt your son's class. Yes, this applies even if they have all called you "Mom" at some point. You also cannot adopt the teachers or the villains. I don't know why I have to tell you this, but apparently it needs telling.

 **Midoriya Izuku** – The fact that anyone with a sex drive seems to be attracted to you does not mean that you had a secret Quirk all along. Said Quirk is not "The Love Bug", and you will stop insisting otherwise.

 **Mineta Minoru** – "Stuff a sock in it" is a figure of speech. You are not expected to eat socks, nor are you expected to carry around socks so you can try and force other people to do eat socks.

 **Mizushima Masaki** – "Don't stop believin'" is not your official theme song. You're from Toyama Prefecture; I doubt you've ever even _been_ to Michigan, much less south Detroit.

 **Monoma Neito** – While Bakugou probably will do pretty much anything if you so much as hint that he's incapable of it, I feel like I should remind you that such a situation may not turn out in your favor, though one would hope you figured that out on your own when you (and everyone else in the vicinity) learned that not only does he see nothing wrong with clothing generally associated with women, he looks damn good in a tutu. And he knows it. Lording this over his head will only get him to dress in drag again. I have to ask you to avoid provoking him, if only because several students who thought they were aware of their orientation are suddenly reconsidering (which is, of course, absolutely fine, but probably shouldn't be happening at school).

 **Nishiya Shinji** – You are not the Lorax. You do not speak for the trees.

 **No. 13** – You are not legally obligated to begin back-up requests with "Housten, we have a problem", and you will stop telling people otherwise.

 **Ojiro Mashirao** – You chose the hero name "Tail Man". Now you're going to have to live with the consequences.

 **Overhaul** – Todoroki Shouto has publically declared you to be the worst father of all time. Take a moment to think about that.

 **Rappa** – Stop trying to fight Kirishima. I don't care how "badass" you think he is. He has homework to do. You can't fight any of the other students either.

 **Rin Hiryuu** – If you are actually being bullied because of your ethnicity, please tell an authority figure (me, the principal). Stop trying to guilt-trip people into giving you food.

 **Ryuukyuu** – Stop telling people that the Dragon Balls are real. They aren't, and you can't grant wishes.

 **Sakamata Kuugo** – Do not try to convince students to "rebel against the tyranny of Sea World". You are not being as subtle as you think you are.

 **Sako Atsuhiro** – If you absolutely must ask Shigaraki to give you "a hand", do not do so on school grounds. You can and _will_ be arrested, no matter how funny the students seem to think you are.

 **Satou Rikidou** – If a villain breaks into the school, alert the proper authorities. Do not bake them a cake in exchange for them leaving. Even if it works, you're just encouraging them to come back again later.

 **Selkie** – "Captain" is not part of your hero name. You do not have the right to arrest people for not calling you that, especially if you are not on your boat at the time.

 **Sero Hanta** – I understand that boys your age like to roughhouse. That is perfectly fine. I only ask that you not use your elbows, as you could do some serious damage.

 **Shigaraki Tomura** – Please stop breaking into the school and taping up crudely drawn pictures of tap-dancing monkeys with socks mooning the viewers. While your creativity is certainly nothing to scoff at, this is inappropriate behavior. Also, you're a criminal, so you shouldn't be here unless someone arrested you. No, you cannot demand fuzzy pink handcuffs, even if Yaoyorozu is happy to oblige.

 **Shinsou Hitoshi** – Stop kidnapping Aizawa's cats. I do not want our teachers sending death threats to students; it's bad for publicity.

 **Shiozaki Ibara** – Smacking someone with a Bible is not an appropriate method of combat, no matter how much you think they "need Jesus".

 **Shishida Juurouta** – Unless you can turn into a prince at will, you are not "the perfect candidate for a new Beauty and the Beast movie" and you will stop insisting otherwise.

 **Shiretoko Tomoko** – I understand that the loss of your Quirk has upset you. However, breaking into All For One's prison cell to demand he give it back is not only very dangerous but also very illegal. I advise against it.

 **Shouda Nirengeki** – I understand that Shinsou's actions in the Sports Festival made you feel uncomfortable. I do _not_ understand why you think the appropriate "vengeance" is following him around and hitting him with a pool noodle.

 **Shouji Mezou** – Mineta should not be trying to get people to eat socks. _You_ should not be _helping_ him.

 **Shuuzenji Chiyo** – "The little shit had it coming" is not an excuse for refusing to heal a student, even if they _did_ have it coming.

 **Sirius** – Please refrain from lashing out at Harry Potter jokes. You knew exactly what you were getting into when you chose that name.

 **Sir Nighteye** – Plus do not leave your All Might body pillow out in the open. Midoriya doesn't need any more _ideas_.

 **Snipe** – Your active hours cannot only be "high noon".

 **Sousaki Shino** – While on my campus, you follow _my_ rules. Stop telling the children that anarchy is an option to alumni.

 **Takeyama Yuu** – There is no law stating that you and Ashido have to watch "Monsters vs. Aliens" together. You should not be telling her otherwise.

 **Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu** – There is nothing you or I can do to stop people from adding a "Tetsu" or two to your name. Learn to live with it.

 **Todoroki Enji** – I have no say in the sort of activities the students partake in after school hours. Thus, should your son wish to gather a bunch of his classmates and egg his own house while you're away, I'm afraid there is little I can do to stop him. What a shame.

 **Todoroki Fuyumi** – While I understand that you are happy that your youngest brother has begun socially connecting with his classmates, I have to ask that you not treat this as though it is his sixth birthday. Please stop showing up carrying pink cupcakes with hearts and smiley faces.

 **Todoroki Shouto** – As amusing as it is to watch you infuriate your father, I must ask you not to break any laws. If you do, I _will_ be able to stop you, and that is not something either of us desires. Full steam ahead (but only legally)!

 **Toga Himiko** – Whether or not your hips are honest is none of my concern. Yours hips, as well as the rest of you, are not allowed on school grounds. Please stop flirting with/trying to stab my students.

 **Tokage Setsuna** – If you are responsible for the creation of Hatsume's velociraptor, then you are also responsible for any damages in causes.

 **Tokoyami Fumikage** – If you stand around dramatically on the roof, people will laugh if/when you fall. They will be justified in doing so.

 **Toogata Mirio** – I understand that you are sick of Tintin jokes. I expect _you_ to understand that Recovery Girl is sick of fixing broken noses.

 **Tsuburaba Kousei** – Stop stalking Todoroki. I don't care if you're only doing it to protect him from the press, stalking is still stalking.

 **Tsuchikawa Ryuuko** – You are thirty-one years old. Do not flirt with teenagers.

 **Tsunotori Pony** – If Monoma tells you how to say something, double check with someone in your class first.

 **Uraraka Ochako** – Please do not try and convince your classmates to refer to All Might as "Dad-sensei". Please also refrain from convincing them to refer to Midoriya Inko as "Mom". Please _also_ stop trying to hook them up.

 **Yagi Toshinori** – Do not encourage your students' delusions of grandeur, whether it's Bakugou claiming to be invincible or Midoriya claiming to be some sort of sex god.

 **Yamada Hizashi** – Stop encouraging Jirou to annoy people with music. Stop _helping_ her annoy people with music.

 **Yanagi Reiko** – I am going to assume that you are the reason several people think the third floor girls' bathroom is haunted. You are not _Toire no Hanako-san_. Stop it.

 **Yaoyorozu Momo** – I am legally obligated to advise you that providing Todoroki Shouto and his cohorts with eggs is, while not illegal, frowned upon. That said, so long as you can prove that you don't know what they're using them for, there's really nothing anyone can do to stop you from "feeding eggs to your hungry friends". Also, if Shigaraki Tomura appears and informs you that he refuses to be arrested unless it's with fuzzy pink handcuffs, do not feel obligated to provide them.

 **AN: That's chapter one! I won't be able to post it 'till later, so I'll write something else in the meantime… For those of you who don't know, "Toire no Hanako-san" (or "Ms. Hanako of the Toilet) is a Japanese spirit who was murdered in a bathroom and now haunts them. There are a few interpretations of her, but I'm just referencing her here. Lastly, don't expect this to make any sense. It's solely for shits and giggles. PWP ("puns without plot"), if you will. Anyhow, let me know what you think, and I'll see you next time! Kitty out.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: People liked the first one, so I'm making another! Also, Fat Gum and Ryuukyuu have names now! So does Rock Lock! And Ryuukyuu's first name is the same as Pixie-bob's, apparently! More headcanons incoming! Also, I'm gonna add in hero names just to keep things simple. Also-also, I'm not gonna be able to get everyone in every chapter, for multiple reasons. The main characters will pretty much always show up, but minor characters (especially those only recently introduced) will not be present as often. Lemme know what you think! Kitty out.**

 **Note** : Hagakure is invisible. Which means her physical features and anything relating to said features _are entirely up to me_. :)

 **Extra Note** : Any mention of jean-related dysphoria is based off of my own personal experiences and deep-seated loathing of denim. Also, I don't care how much people like him or why, Best Jeanist can eat a dick.

Summary: Bakugou and Hagakure find common ground, the Todoroki Family Drama™ continues, Mineta tries to start a new holiday, and Shinsou and Kouda might have too much time on their hands.

 **Aizawa Shouta (Eraserhead)** – I don't care if you think it would be a good theme song for the school, make Present Mic turn it off before the damage becomes irreparable.

 **Akaguro Chizome** **(Stain)** – Stop trying to profit off of Stain-based merchandise. You don't seem to understand how being in prison works.

 **All For One** – Stop encouraging people to reinstate the death penalty. I don't care how annoying certain former heroes have been; you deserve it.

 **Amajiki Tamaki (Suneater)** – If Toogata asks you to cover for him, you should ask for more information and then _tell the proper authority figure_. "Plausible deniability" does not apply when you're fully aware that misbehavior is occurring, even if you don't know the details.

 **Aoyama Yuuga** – The fact that someone has not told you _not_ to do something does not mean that you are permitted to do it, especially if you have yet to actually _ask_.

 **Ashido Mina (Pinky)** – I don't care if it's actually a picture of your elbow. You took it in a way that made it look like it was your behind, and you did so on purpose. Cut it out.

 **Asui Tsuyu (Froppy)** – The clip from that angry American man about "chemicals in the water" and "gay frogs" was not, in fact, a compliment. And I believe you are fully aware of this. Stop sending him letters thanking him for "raising awareness for homosexual amphibians".

 **Awata Kaoruko (Bubble Girl)** – If someone mocks your Quirk, the proper response is that you have successfully built a career that generally involves a great deal of combat on said Quirk. Do _not_ follow them around stink-bubble bombing them for a week.

 **Bakugou Katsuki** – While I understand that making Hagakure wear lipstick will improve your ability to communicate with her, I feel obligated to point out that doing it for her has led to the entire school now being aware of your cosmetic prowess. Should people begin to ask you for help or tips, you may _politely_ tell them that you aren't interested in a career as a beautician. You may _not_ threaten to "explodo-kill their faces", nor may you attempt to follow through on that threat.

 **Bakugou Mitsuki** – If you're going to encourage your son to try and make some money off his non-violent talents, please keep in mind that he is a high school student, and most of his customers are _also_ going to be high school students. As such, prices should not be ridiculously high.

 **Bakugou Masaru** – There is nothing wrong with teenagers in a relationship, nor is there anything inherently wrong with polyamory. That said, please stop encouraging anyone your son interacts with to go out with him.

 **Bondo Kojirou** – If you wish to be left alone, please tell whoever is bothering you. Do not encase yourself _or the person speaking tt you_ in a concrete casing via your Quirk.

 **Bubaigawara Jin (Twice)** – While mentally ill and disabled people do indeed need more rights and a stronger support system, you are probably not the best role model. I'm glad you allegedly inspired the potential disability club, but as a _villain_ who _does not work here_ , you are not eligible to be the faculty member in charge of said club.

 **Chatora Yawara (Tiger)** – No one wants to know what you think the Froot Loops mascot does in his spare time that involves a tub of glitter, a wrench, and ritualistic sacrifices. If you're in any way responsible for whatever Kouda and Shinsou are doing, _stop it this instant_.

 **Chisaki Kai (Overhaul)** – If people start calling you 'Scar' or making other references to a certain alchemy-based manga, the only complaint you are allowed to have is that that particular character was actually surprisingly good with kids.

 **Dabi** – Do not bribe/threaten the hospital staff into going along with this week's Todoroki Family Drama™. What does that have to do with you, anyway?

 **Eri** – Putting on a pair of sunglasses does not make you immune from consequences. Do not superglue spoons to people's faces while they sleep.

 **Fourth Kind** – While I agree that the Ganesha jokes are inappropriate and potentially offensive, I would like to point out that responding with "my mother's name was not Parvati, and I do not ride around on a rat" is not going to make the jokes stop. It may actually make things worse, and people will question why you know so much about Hinduism off the top of your head.

 **Fukidashi Manga** – Stop insisting that Hadou, Amajiki, and Toogata are Poseidon, Hades, and Zeus, respectively. "The Big Three" is not a title limited to the Percy Jackson series, and this school doesn't need another cult.

 **Fukukado Emi (Ms. Joke)** – If you absolutely must attempt to serenade Eraserhead, don't do it on campus, don't do it at three in the morning, don't do it with karaoke, and _don't use heavy metal_.

 **Gran Torino** – Stop spreading rumors that there was a cult on this campus at any point in time. There never was, and even if there had been, it would've been your fault.

 **Hadou Nejire (Nejire-chan)** – Being part of the Big Three does not mean assisting your fellow members in their illicit activities. Neither you nor Amajiki should be providing alibis for Toogata. In fact, stop encouraging him altogether.

 **Hagakure Tooru (Invisible Girl)** – While I of course encourage a support group for aspiring heroes with disabilities, I must express my concern over the leaders of said group being yourself and Bakugou, as he cannot hear you and you cannot see him. If you _learn sign language_ (and wear gloves during club meetings), or _find a translator_ , then I will green light your club.

 **Hakamata Tsunagu (Best Jeanist)** – If U.A. sends a student to you for an internship, you do not have the right to force said student into jeans, especially if said student has made it clear that tight pants cause gender dysphoria for him. Please give Bakugou (and his parents) a proper apology, or we will no longer consider you as a potential mentor for our students.

 **Hatsume Mei** – If someone is annoying you, do not offer to make them prosthetics, and then, when they point out that they do not actually _need_ prosthetics, offer to "fix that for them". You were not being genial, you were threatening Kaminari's legs.

 **Hikiishi Kenji (Magne)** – Stop encouraging our trans students to "fight the power". They can fight for equality without being on the run for murder, and you are not as good an influence as you think you are. That said, I have been asked to tell you that several formerly closeted students have cited you as an inspiration for coming out and are grateful for your support, even if your career goal is less than preferable.

 **Honenuki Juuzou** – Stop telling people that you are a zombie. Someone will eventually believe you, and I don't want to deal with more people trying to kill my students than I already have to.

 **Iguchi Shuuichi (Spinner)** – Not all lesbians require swords, and it is not your duty to provide them. No, this does not mean you can have them back.

 **Iida Tensei (Ingenium)** – "Cool motive, still murder" is not the proper response when someone asks you about Stain.

 **Iida Tenya (Ingenium)** – While you are the last person I thought I would have to explain this to, it seems it is necessary anyway: _Mineta was lying_. Take those off your head.

 **Ishiyama Ken (Cementoss)** – Stop encouraging dick jokes about Kirishima and Tetsutetsu. This applies even if those two are the main source of said dick jokes.

 **Izumi Kouta** – If a villain harasses you over the phone, inform your guardians so that they can prevent it from continuing to happen. Do not use it as an opportunity to "get better at smack-talk".

 **Jirou Kyouka (Earphone Jack)** – Stop downloading footage of your classmates, dubbing them over with weird dialogue, and "accidentally" uploading them to the school website. If they kill you, you have only yourself to blame.

 **Kamihara Shinya (Edgeshot)** – There is no such thing as a "Dad Squad", and you can't join by adopting a student from Eraserhead's class. Stop trying to adopt Bakugou.

 **Kaminari Denki (Chargezuma)** – If you are in a position where Hatsume is physically capable of removing any part of your body or considering doing so, it is in your best interest to get out of that position. "Live by the booby, die by the booby" will not be an acceptable response when Recovery Girl is asking you why there is a socket wrench that needs to be removed from your rectum.

 **Kan Sekijirou (Blood King)** – I don't know what you and Midnight were doing in the teachers' lounge, but I don't think jack-o-lanterns are supposed to look like that.

 **Kayama Nemuri (Midnight)** – Do not paint walls with pumpkin guts.

 **Kendou Itsuka (Battle Fist)** – Stop trying to convince Best Jeanist (the company) to sue Best Jeanist (the hero). They _sponsor_ him.

 **Kirishima Eijirou (Red Riot)** – If you announce that you "get hard to save people", you will be given a detention.

 **Kodai Yui** – "I bet mine's bigger" is not the appropriate response to _anything_ , regardless of whether or not you can back it up.

 **Komori Kinoko** – The Great Pumpkin is a pumpkin, as the name implies. It is not a rare type of mushroom that can only be produced on October 31st, and you will stop telling people that you will make said mushroom "for a reasonable price".

 **Kouda Kouji (Anima)** – Please stop telling people that the ocean demands a blood sacrifice. Even if it's true, you're only going to cause problems. Speaking of which, go tell Shinsou to stop trying to recruit people into his ocean cult. I don't care that he said you could be the "co-Mega Reverend".

 **Kurogiri** – The fact that you are the only thing keeping the League of Villains in a somewhat organized group does not make you the "Ultra Dad".

 **Kuroiro Shihai** – Stop rigging random classroom objects to spray people with ink. I am _this_ close from banning the Rolling Stones in this school.

 **Maijima Higari (Power Loader)** – Do not let Hatsume and Tokage try to breed to dinosaur. It's not "for science", and you should know that that excuse won't fly with _me_ , of all people.

 **Midoriya Hisashi** – Stop trying to start conspiracy theories about whether or not you actually exist.

 **Midoriya Inko** – Stop encouraging your husband's nonsense.

 **Midoriya Izuku (Deku)** – If Ragdoll, All Might, and Toogata do indeed form a group for Quirkless people, you are not an applicable member as you are in possession of a Quirk. You may not cite "years of oppression by SOMEONE" as a reason for you to be included in this group. Please find other ways to try and guilt-trip Bakugou (by the way: it's not working).

 **Mineta Minoru (Grape Juice)** – There is no such thing as "National Underpants Day", and it is not celebrated by wearing underpants on one's head.

 **Mongoose Habuko** – I don't know who told you otherwise, but leaving dead rats on someone's doorstep is not a sign that you like them. It's a sign that you are a cat.

 **Monoma Neito (Phantom Thief)** – No, Shinsou is not going to be allowed to sacrifice you to Cthulhu. That said, I suggest you avoid him, Kouda, and anyone else either of them have been seen with recently, just to be safe.

 **Moonfish** – I don't know how you found out about Mineta's holiday thing, but he was lying. Get those off your head.

 **Muscular** – If you continue to use your phone calls to try and taunt a five-year-old about murdering his parents, you will no longer be allowed to use the phone. I don't care how good he is at sassing you.

 **Mustard** – You are perfectly justified in punching anyone who makes Nazi jokes about your Quirk. You are _not_ justified in using said Quirk on those people.

 **Nishiya Shinji (Kamui Woods)** – No, you may not only operate during nighttime. I don't care how many "morning wood" jokes are being made; you have a job to do.

 **Ojiro Mashirao (Tail Man)** – Being the sanest person in your class is not an accomplishment. That's a low, low, _low_ bar.

 **Rappa** – You give someone flowers when you're asking them out on a date, not a fight. I recommend clearing the situation up before things get awkward. Er, more awkward.

 **Rin Hiryuu** – While it is important to raise awareness for the mistakes of the past, please be less passive-aggressive about it. History class is becoming extremely uncomfortable for several students.

 **Satou Rikidou (Sugarman)** – Whip cream is not an appropriate weapon, regardless of how effective it may be.

 **Sero Hanta (Cellophane)** – Stop breaking into your classmates' rooms and mixing up all their socks. You are not the "sock goblin".

 **Shigaraki Tomura** – Stop calling people "noobs". You're making people think you're much less of a threat than you really are. Seriously, there's greater concern that you'll insult someone on the X-box than actually kill people.

 **Shinsou Hitoshi** – It may have been executed poorly, but Kouda was _joking_. Probably. In any case, stop trying to start a cult on campus. Cthulhu isn't real, and it doesn't want you sacrifice anyone. Also, "Mega Reverend" is not an actual thing.

 **Shiozaki Ibara (Maria)** – While I don't doubt your intentions, your presentation on war crimes and their impact on modern society had slides that were far too graphic for the classroom (or anywhere else, really). Please apologize to your classmates.

 **Shiretoko Tomoko (Ragdoll)** – You, All Might, and Toogata may form a club for people who lost their Quirks (or never had them to begin with) if you so choose. You may _not_ use said club as an excuse to booby-trap areas that Pro Heroes frequent. You aren't "fighting the power", you're being passive-aggressively bitter pains in the rear. If you wish to set your targets on those who caused the loss of your Quirks, this is understandable, but may not be done by breaking into prison. Please find other, less illegal ways to express your irritation.

 **Shouji Mezou (Tentacole)** – Take down the National Underpants Day posters. You are not "supporting a classmate's ingenuity"; you're being a deviant.

 **Shuuzenji Chiyo (Recovery Girl)** – If you need to spread a general public health message, make an announcement. Do _not_ , under _any_ circumstances, nail deeply disturbing "consequences" signs in the halls. We do not need _more_ traumatized students.

 **Sir Nighteye** – "Don't get impaled", while technically not wrong, is generally not what heroes in training are hoping to hear when they ask for advice.

 **Snipe** – Stop trying to convince students that you are secretly a video game character.

 **Sousaki Shino (Mandalay)** – Do not _encourage_ your nephew's poor decisions.

 **Takagi Ken (Rock Lock)** – While being an actual father does indeed give you more expertise in the field of "being a dad", the fact remains that there is no such thing as the "Dad Squad", and therefore you are not the "Dad Squad God".

 **Takeyama Yuu (Mt. Lady)** – Please stop posting dick jokes on Kamui Woods's social media accounts. You are not being subtle, nor is he fooled. He knows it's you. We _all_ know it's you. _Everyone knows it's you_.

 **Tatsuma Ryuuko (Ryuukyuu)** – You cannot sue someone for having the same first name as you. They're not even written the same way. Leave Pixie-bob alone.

 **Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu (Real Steel)** – Do not tell people that you are "the hardest man alive". Do not tell people that _Kirishima_ is, either.

 **Todoroki Enji (Endeavor)** – I am fully convinced that you are know exactly how each and every one of those words is meant to be used. Stop pretending otherwise to annoy your sons.

 **Todoroki Fuyumi** – If you are annoyed with your brothers using your things without asking, please talk it out with them. Do not teach your father modern slang to embarrass said brothers in public.

 **Todoroki Shouto (Shouto)** – I understand that your father and sister have formed an unholy alliance. The proper response to this is to apologize for taking your sister's things, not using your mother as a shield. Please come out from beneath her bed. This applies to your brothers as well. None of you are residents of the hospital, and the staff is not obligated to put up with your shenanigans.

 **Toga Himiko** – No, turning into me will not put you in charge of all the rules. That's not how it works. Please stop breaking into my office. You aren't going to bait me into a fight by stealing my food, and you aren't going to bait me into a trap with dog biscuits. I'm far too smart to fall for that, and I will get all the biscuits without activating any trap you may have thought up.

 **Tokage Setsuna** – Do not name the robot velociraptor. Do not get attached to the robot velociraptor. And for goodness' sake, _don't try to breed it_.

 **Tokoyami Fumikage (Tsukuyomi)** – The fact that a band you listen to said something does not make it true. You cannot actually set yourself on fire, and if you do you will most certainly "burn, burn, burn".

 **Toogata Mirio (Lemillion)** – Stop breaking into Overhaul's cell and hiding dirty rags all over the place. He may deserve it, but breaking and entering is a crime. I don't care if _certain ex-pros_ implied that it was okay; you should know better.

 **Toyomitsu Taishirou (Fat Gum)** – You are not permitted to do cannonballs in a pool under any circumstances. _Ever_.

 **Tsuchikawa Ryuuko (Pixie-bob)** – If you absolutely have to threaten a villain, keep it PG, _especially_ if a child is nearby.

 **Tsunotori Pony** – I understand that Monoma's tendency to tell you to say things you probably shouldn't be saying is annoying, but please be aware that returning the favor is not only immature, but also starting to affect his English grades.

 **Uraraka Ochako (Uravity)** – Stop dabbing every time someone does something remotely impressive. You are not "Udabity". That's a bad joke even by _your_ standards.

 **Uwabami** – Stop telling people that you actually _are_ Medusa. Halloween isn't for over a month, and this is _Japan_. If anyone takes you seriously and comes after you with a sword and a reflective shield, you have only yourself to blame.

 **Yagi Toshinori (All Might)** – Ragdoll and Toogata are much younger than you and, while the former is _officially_ an adult, both are easily influenced by you. Please communicate to them that breaking into a maximum-security prison to play "Carmelldansen" on repeat in All For One's cell is unacceptable behavior.

 **Yamada Hizashi (Present Mic)** – I don't know why Fukidashi saw fit to give you access to that song, but stop playing it. There is literally a tear in the fabric of reality in my office. I do not want it there, especially given how often _someone_ seems to break in. That said, it _is_ a very catchy song.

 **Yanagi Reiko** – You are not an anime character, and you cannot summon a manifestation of your spirit to "punch the shit out of things and yell". Stop insisting that "Stand Proud" be played every time you enter a room.

 **Yaoyorozu Momo (Creati)** – If someone makes a poop joke concerning your Quirk, the proper response is to politely request that they desist and, if they don't, talk to a teacher or other faculty member. Do not pull a hammer out of your side and ask them how their kneecaps are doing.

 **AN: Chapter two is done! Go me! I don't have a whole lot to say right now, so I'll just make a list of certain things about certain characters that are, for the sake of this fic, certain.**

 **Physically disabled characters: Bakugou, Hagakure, All Might, All For One, Tensei, and Fukidashi (debatably)**

 **Mentally-ill/neurodivergent characters: Amajiki, Ashido, Bakugou, Fourth Kind, Twice, Asui, Hadou, Iida, Kouda, Midoriya, Shigaraki, Moonfish (probably), Toga, anyone with the surname Todoroki, Tsunotori, Uraraka, Present Mic, and Yanagi**

 **Trans characters: Tiger, Magne, Bakugou, Fourth Kind, Fukidashi, No. 13, Blood King, Kuroiro, Shouda, and Power Loader**

 **This probably isn't everyone; it's just what I've decided so far. Thank you all so much for reading, and please let me know what you think! Kitty out.**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: So many reviews already! You guys are the best! A couple people expressed concern over this, so I'll just go ahead and say that it is totally okay to ask me anything you want! I won't get mad – (friendly) discussion of headcanons is one of the best parts of being in a fandom! And you can absolutely toss me some ideas, if you want. I can't promise I'll be able to use all of them, but I'll be grateful for the suggestions anyway! Thanks so much for reading, and please let me know what you think! Kitty out.**

 **Extra Note** : Credit to Pom_Rania for the idea of the velociraptor's usage

 **Extra-Extra Note** : Just to clarify, the fourth wall does not exist for Fukidashi. They are fully aware of all of this. That said, I'm going to keep the fourth wall breaks to a limit because they can get old fast if done poorly.

 **Extra-Extra-Extra Note** : The song Present Mic was playing is "The Day" by Porno Graffitti. It's the anime's first opening song.

 **Extra-Extra-Extra-Extra Note** : I just realized that almost all of the trans characters are trans men, with a couple nonbinary people. Magne is the only trans woman so far. Let's do something about that, shall we?

 **Extra-Extra-Extra-Extra-Extra Note** : The Pussycats are in a polyamorous relationship, and Bakugou and Jirou are Jewish. I don't make the rules, sorry. Oh wait– yes, I actually do. But anyway, the Pussycats are probably gonna have the most defined relationship in this story; everything else is really just "everyone/everyone".

 **Extra-Extra-Extra-Extra-Extra-Extra Note** : Okay, I'll stop now.

Summary: Everyone vandalizes the school, the velociraptor makes a new friend, _some_ people forget how being dead works, and the Pussycats make bad decisions.

 **Aizawa Shouta (Eraserhead)** – You are not permitted to dismiss your class by saying "goodbye, you little shits".

 **Akaguro Chizome** **(Stain)** – No one cares if you think the velociraptor is tacky. I don't care if Tokage called you "Voldemort's uglier cousin"; the dinosaur was not involved and does not deserve any of your ire.

 **All For One** – Using a weak telekinetic Quirk to write vaguely menacing things on the wall of your cell is childish, immature, and much less effective than it would be if you were writing in something other than gold sharpie.

 **Amajiki Tamaki (Suneater)** – As most human beings cannot digest whatever floor tiles are made of, I think it's safe to say that gnawing on the floor will not give you the ability to sink into it. There are teeth marks all over the place, and you look silly, so cut it out.

 **Aoyama Yuuga** – Stop locking random people in closets to see what happens. Nine times out of ten, there will no longer be a closet.

 **Ashido Mina (Pinky)** – You are not _actually_ an Amazon. Stop announcing yourself by charging into the classroom with a war cry.

 **Asui Tsuyu (Froppy)** – Your costume does not give you hypnotic powers. I don't care what Toga told you; she's a criminal, not your "thrall".

 **Awase Yousetsu** – If you're the one that keeps letting Toga in here, you need to stop immediately. That is extremely illegal. I don't care why you're doing it – whatever grievances you have with the school can be solved in other, _safer_ ways.

 **Awata Kaoruko (Bubble Girl)** – If you dress up as a minor character from a manga, do not expect people to immediately recognize her. The fact that you apparently know all her attacks will not change this. Stop screaming "La Gota" and throwing high-pressure bubbles at people.

 **Bakugou Katsuki** – The problem is not that you nailed a mezuzah to the doorway of your room in Heights Alliance. U.A. is not anti-Semitic. The problem is that you nailed mezuzot to the doorway of _every_ room in Heights Alliance, and you failed to get permission first.

 **Bubaigawara Jin (Twice)** – Whatever you're planning to do with a six monkeys, a bunch of bananas, and pick-up truck full of glitter glue– _don't_.

 **Chatora Yawara (Tiger)** – Your Alex Louis Armstrong costume was extremely convincing. You were very in character. You can take it off now.

 **Chisaki Kai (Overhaul)** –Stop trying to get out on "good behavior". Just because you can no longer _use_ your Quirk doesn't mean we're stupid enough to believe that you haven't _tried_.

 **Chronostasis** – If you change your alias to "Superhot", you might get sued. I advise against it.

 **Dabi** – Stop making mocking YouTube videos about Yuuei. The Sports Festival does not need "villain commentary". Actually, just get off YouTube altogether.

 **Ectoplasm** – "You won't know until you try" is not a good response when a student asks about anything involving the roof of the school and how gravity affects certain vegetables.

 **Eri** – Your zombie princess costume was absolutely adorable. That said, please stop trying to eat people's brains. Contrary to popular belief, that's mummies. Zombies just want flesh. Don't try to eat that either.

 **Fourth Kind** – You may not initiate battles by raising your katana, charging your opponent, and screaming, "there can be only one". If you continue this behavior, your katana will be taken away from you.

 **Fukidashi Manga** – The school has far more than four walls, and none of them are broken. Either explain what you're talking about or stop trying to give us all heart attacks.

 **Gran Torino** – Stop flirting with Recovery Girl in public. You're doing it to make everyone uncomfortable, and we're all very aware of that.

 **Hadou Nejire (Nejire-chan)** – Stop blasting Ke$ha songs in the middle of the night, please. We're trying to _sleep_.

 **Hagakure Tooru (Invisible Girl)** – Being invisible does not make you immune to consequences. Stop encouraging your peers' delinquent behavior.

 **Hakamata Tsunagu (Best Jeanist)** – Please stop telling your sidekicks to send their complaints to me. I don't want them and can't do anything about it anyway.

 **Hatsume Mei** – If you had said that the velociraptor was built for Iida Tensei as an apology for manipulating his brother during the Sports Festival, you would have been given permission to make it. "I wanted more creative freedom" is not an excuse.

 **Hikiishi Kenji (Magne)** – "The law doesn't apply to dead people" is not an excuse. No villains allowed on campus, pulse or no pulse.

 **Honenuki Juuzou** – Please stop telling people that Midoriya Izuku's Quirk is "Bone Hurting Juice".

 **Iguchi Shuuichi (Spinner)** – Grand Theft Auto is not an appropriate means of learning how to drive.

 **Iida Tensei (Ingenium)** – Welcome back to active duty. Please keep the velociraptor on a leash while you are on campus. Actually, keep it on a leash even when you're _not_ on campus, just to be safe. As for your new hero name, it can only be "Diosaur" if you clear it with Araki Hirohiko first.

 **Iida Tenya (Ingenium)** – While I'm sure you are happy to see your brother back in action, I'm going to have to ask you to stop "visiting" Stain to loudly talk about it in front of his cell. It's immature and you should know better.

 **Izumi Kouta** – _Stop trolling the serial killer_. I don't care how much you hate him. You don't know what the Pythagorean theorem is either.

 **Jirou Kyouka (Earphone Jack)** – If you helped Bakugou nail all those up, then you're going to help him take them _down_. I don't care that you two are "trans mlm/wlw Jewish solidarity" or whatever your exact words were. Vandalizing school property is not okay.

 **Kaibara Sen** – Please stop watching scenes from various shows/movies where cameras get destroyed and loudly complaining when such an event occurs. You like cameras, we get it. Enough already.

 **Kamakiri Togaru** – Stop telling people that you have a third mandible hidden beneath your Mohawk.

 **Kamihara Shinya (Edgeshot)** – Tokoyami's status as an edge lord is not "a sign from the heavens". Stop trying to adopt my students.

 **Kaminari Denki (Chargezuma)** – When Kamui Woods says he's heard every possible joke about his hero name, _he is not issuing a challenge_.

 **Kan Sekijirou (Blood King)** – Defenestration is not an acceptable substitute for detention, no matter how annoying the student in question was being.

 **Kayama Nemuri (Midnight)** – If someone falls asleep in your class, you are not permitted to draw on their faces. This is especially true if your Quirk is the reason they fell asleep to begin with.

 **Kendou Itsuka (Battle Fist)** – While it is indeed good to help your classmates train, I suggest that you reconsider your methods. This is Monoma's third concussion this week.

 **Kirishima Eijirou (Red Riot)** – You are not an actual mummy. You will not be given a sarcophagus. Stop asking.

 **Kodai Yui** – Mineta is not a leprechaun. Stop pelting him with Lucky Charms™.

 **Komori Kinoko** – Spiking my tea is an inhumane thing to do, and human drugs don't work the same for me anyway. Whatever you wanted to do in my office, _don't_.

 **Kouda Kouji (Anima)** – Stop threatening to summon Cthulhu. He isn't real, and I doubt he would listen to you if he were. _Take those fliers down_.

 **Kurogiri** – Stop sneaking vegetables into students' lunches. It's important that they maintain a healthy diet, yes, but I don't trust you.

 **Kuroiro Shihai** – Currently, horror games are not banned in this school. If you continue to demand that you be referred to as "The Terrible Black", they will be.

 **Lunch-Rush** – If asked what sort of offensive abilities you possess, you are not permitted to respond with "dwarf bread". While that does _technically_ qualify as a weapon, anyone who gets the reference is going to start being extremely wary of you. Given that you spend most of your time in a high school cafeteria, this is not ideal.

 **Maijima Higari (Power Loader)** – You knew _exactly_ what was going on and you kept quiet because you wanted to see chaos. If this happens again, I'm docking your pay.

 **Midoriya Inko** – "They grow up so fast" is not the proper response to _anything_ your son and/or his classmates have recently done.

 **Midoriya Izuku (Deku)** – Stop referring to your classmates as "cannon fodder". I don't care how much you admire Bakugou. Stick to copying his moves, not his words.

 **Mineta Minoru (Grape Juice)** – Writing "TIDDY" on the wall with your Quirk was completely inappropriate. Adding a question mark did not change that. I don't care whose idea it was. You agreed to it, and you knew you shouldn't.

 **Mongoose Habuko** – Stop trying to scare skinny British kids with glasses and weird forehead scars.

 **Monoma Neito (Phantom Thief)** – Tinfoil hats will not protect you from Shinsou. Just _avoid_ him. Call a teacher if you have to.

 **Moura Nagamasa** – Covering yourself in birds will not convince Kouda to let you into his and Shinsou's cult. They cannot have a cult, and thus you cannot join it.

 **Muscular** – "Try punching it" is not an appropriate suggestion when a five-year-old asks how to solve a math problem. He doesn't actually want your help; he's only asking because he knows you don't know the answer.

 **Nakagame Tatami** – Stop trying to jumpscare people. You are not "Tatami-kami-sama, Turtle God of Fear".

 **Nishiya Shinji (Kamui Woods)** – No, you cannot join the Dad Squad as Ojiro's dad just because you both get mocked for your hero names. The Dad Squad does not exist, even if your poor choices do.

 **No. 13** – Thank you for getting rid of the reality tear in my office. You are the only person I can trust right now.

 **Ojiro Mashirao (Tail Man)** – Take those posters down right now. _No Cthulhu cults_.

 **Rappa** – Stands aren't real, and thus you cannot have one. Stop trying.

 **Sako Atsuhiro (Mr. Compress)** – Stop breaking into Overhaul's cell and hitting him with his arm. Breaking and entering is illegal, and you're already a villain. Also, why the hell did you _keep_ that?

 **Satou Rikidou (Sugarman)** – Eating so much sugar that you go completely berserk is not a Halloween costume, even if you paint yourself green and scream "Hulk smash" every time you break something. I must also point out that the Incredible Hulk is not known for overdressing, and would like to remind you that it is okay to add a sports bra or binder to your costume as we do have public decency laws.

 **Sero Hanta (Cellophane)** – Singing "Mr. Cellophane" will not get you a hot wife named Roxanne. I don't think you've actually seen the musical.

 **Shigaraki Tomura** – Spray-painting "Kamino just setback" on the school's gate in the middle of the night is an absurd thing to do. So is yelling it when you fight people. We get it, you like video games.

 **Shindou You** – Asking "How do you keep a Yuuei student in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.

 **Shinsou Hitoshi** – Whether or not you're actually trying to sacrifice Monoma to Cthulhu, _stop stalking him_.

 **Shiozaki Ibara (Maria)** – Yes, there are some ghosts floating around. We don't know how or why. At this point, we're just hoping that if we ignore them, they'll go away.

 **Shishida Juurouta** – I understand that you may be annoyed if someone tries to give you a flea collar. Trying to force said collar down that person's throat is not acceptable.

 **Shiretoko Tomoko (Ragdoll)** – The fact that you are no longer a hero does not mean that you should be spending time with villains. I don't care what Rappa said, Stands are not actually real.

 **Shouji Mezou (Tentacole)** – Do not ever "triple dab" again.

 **Shuuzenji Chiyo (Recovery Girl)** – Stop flirting with Gran Torino in public. You're doing it to make everyone uncomfortable, and we're all very aware of that.

 **Sirius** – While there is nothing inherently wrong with dressing as a big black dog for Halloween, please be aware that it will not make the Harry Potter jokes stop.

 **Sir Nighteye** – Technically, there's no law against floating into Overhaul's cell and pointing out every speck of dirt he physically can't pick up, but it's very immature of you.

 **Sousaki Shino (Mandalay)** – If one of your partners begins hanging out with a villain, you should stop them. I don't care if he's "actually pretty hot". If you absolutely must turn your foursome into a fivesome, find someone who isn't a violent criminal.

 **Takagi Ken (Rock Lock)** – While I understand the urge, punching people who make racist comments about yourself or your marriage is not going to help your image. And honestly, if anyone can look at a picture of you with your wife and child and somehow find something wrong with it, they don't deserve the amount of effort it would take to punch their teeth in anyway.

 **Takeyama Yuu (Mt. Lady)** – Kamui Woods is not "the last of the Entwives".

 **Tatsuma Ryuuko (Ryuukyuu)** – "Justice for Smaug" is not an appropriate thing to shout while watching The Hobbit. You're meant to be rooting _against_ Smaug, not for him.

 **Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu (Real Steel)** – I know you were just trying to help, but Amajiki is trying to eat the floor. Please be more careful with how you phrase things.

 **Todoroki Enji (Endeavor)** – The fact that you and your daughter have formed an alliance does not mean she may do as she pleases. Control your offspring.

 **Todoroki Fuyumi** – Do not follow your father into battle on Tensei's velociraptor. I don't care that Tensei himself is fine with it, nor do I care that lobbing Magic 8 Balls is apparently an effective villain deterrent. You are a civilian.

 **Todoroki Shouto (Shouto)** – I am to be referred to as "Headmaster" or "Mr. Principal", not "my liege".

 **Toga Himiko** – Stop putting people at knifepoint and forcing them to say "All glory to the Hypnotoad" whenever Asui walks by.

 **Tokage Setsuna** – Do not interrupt Tensei's hero duty because you want to say hi to his dinosaur. He has work to do, and you are not helping.

 **Tokoyami Fumikage (Tsukuyomi)** – Do not use Dark Shadow to pants your classmates.

 **Toogata Mirio (Lemillion)** – Stop trying to convince people that you're in their TVs.

 **Toyomitsu Taishirou (Fat Gum)** – If Rappa does somehow successfully manifest a Stand, the blame is entirely on you.

 **Tsuburaba Kousei** – "Nani the fuck" is not an appropriate reaction upon learning you did poorly on a test.

 **Tsuchikawa Ryuuko (Pixie-bob)** – "We'll keep an eye on him" does not change the fact that Rappa belongs in prison.

 **Tsunotori Pony** – No one needed to know that My Little Pony™ toys could be used like that. No one _wanted_ to know that My Little Pony™ toys could be used like that. Please talk to a psychologist immediately.

 **Uraraka Ochako (Uravity)** – The proper response to seeing classmates fighting is to inform a teacher. Do not start taking bets.

 **Uwabami** – Stop telling villains to "get a life". Regardless of whether or not it's true, it's rude and unprofessional.

 **Yagi Toshinori (All Might)** – We do not want to encourage our ghost infestation. Stop trying to summon your old teacher's spirit.

 **Yamada Hizashi (Present Mic)** – Tense situations between your colleagues should not be dealt with by "leaving and hoping no one dies".

 **Yanagi Reiko** – I understand that you are upset after being told that your special interest was "something a real girl wouldn't like". However, transphobic comments should be reported to the faculty, _not to Bakugou_. You will be helping to pay for the property damage caused by the incident, but please be assured that the student in question has been suspended and informed that any more comments in that regard will result in expulsion.

 **Yaoyorozu Momo (Creati)** – You don't need to make a chart to explain the relationships in your class. Alternatively, if you _do_ , maybe you should think about what that means for a moment.

 **AN: This chapter took. Longer than I meant it to. I started** ** _before Halloween_** **, so… oops. Anyway, happy Hanukkah, everybody! I'll try to update another story before the year is over, provided my brain can remember how plots work. Don't have a whole lot to say here (except "sorry"), so here's the list:**

 **Physically disabled characters: Bakugou, Hagakure, All Might, All For One, Tensei, Fukidashi (debatably), and Ectoplasm**

 **Mentally-ill/neurodivergent characters: Amajiki, Ashido, Bakugou, Fourth Kind, Twice, Asui, Hadou, Iida, Kouda, Midoriya, Shigaraki, Moonfish (probably), Toga, anyone with the surname Todoroki, Tsunotori, Uraraka, Present Mic, Yanagi, Eri, and Hatsume**

 **Trans characters: Tiger, Magne, Bakugou, Fourth Kind, Fukidashi, No. 13, Blood King, Kuroiro, Shouda, Power Loader, Yanagai, Satou, and Jirou**


End file.
